These days we can see that the way teens communicate have a big influence on the quality of their social relationships. You and I as parents and educators should look for the communication style that teens use and later help them to learn more influential strategies, if required.
The Passive Approach
As we all know many teens today have problems in advocating and communicating their needs. They have a fear of standing up for themselves, maybe because they lack good communication skills or because they have a low self worth. Now this actually results in making other kids notice their insecurity early on and these kids can be pushed further with repercussion. These teens have problems making friends and can be bullied. They may share relationships that are unfulfilled as they permit themselves to be treated badly by their friends, and they have no idea of how to change this dynamic. If your teen is suffering from such problems then this kind of approach is known as the passive approach.
The Aggressive Approach
If your teen is usually intimidating and confrontational in his or her personal interaction that means he or she has an aggressive approach. They use threatening body or verbal language and they mostly do not care for the needs of the other person. They have only one goal and that is to get what they need. They have difficulty in cooperating with others and when they approach others it is quite abrasive. They might resort to threats or name calling to fulfill their needs. These teens are mostly bullies making other students fear or avoid them. But when they use such an approach with someone in authority, it often causes other discipline problems.
Teens that know the method to get their needs and also care for the needs of others fall under the category of an assertive approach. They mostly have a solution oriented and respectful verbal approach. They have excellent problem solving and communication skills.
Use of “I Messages”
So if you want to solve the problem of teen relationships, you can start by working on his or her communication skills. Help the teens by make them learn to use “I messages”. Try to reflect the perspective of the other person back to them and above all use good listening skills. This problem can also be solved by personalized learning which we will talk about in our next article.
If you need more tips, you can also read our eguides for teens, parents and educators – A Teen’s Guide to Resolving Conflict, Brochure for Teens in an Argument, Bullying and Cyber-bullying. A great resource tool for the entire education community!